✨ Is the soft life still about healing—or has it been hijacked by hustle culture in disguise? In this episode of UnFilterHer, we’re diving deep into the truth behind the “soft life” movement. What started as a radical act of self-preservation for Black women has now become a trending aesthetic. But underneath the skincare routines and travel reels, there’s a deeper conversation about generational exhaustion, the weight of being “strong,” and the urgent need for rest, joy, and wholeness. We unpack the historical roots of the Strong Black Woman archetype, explore the dangers of hustle without healing, and break down a powerful wellness model called BREATHE—a tool specifically designed for Black women reclaiming their peace. 👑 Because softness isn’t weakness. It’s survival. 💬 Let’s talk in the comments: What does soft life mean to you? Do you feel like rest is something you have to earn? How do you personally protect your peace in a hustle-heavy world? 👇🏾 Drop your thoughts, stories, and perspectives below! 🎧 Tune in every Thursday for real talk, radical healing, and unfiltered truth. 📌 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss an episode. 🖤 UnFilterHer — Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably HER. #SoftLife #BlackWomenHealing #UnFilterHer #RestIsResistance #WellnessForBlackWomen #AntiHustleCulture
Sources: Excerpts from "Black Women's Mental Health - Coalition of African American Leaders -" (BWMH) Excerpts from "My thoughts on the "Soft girl era" trend : r/blackladies - Reddit" (Reddit) Excerpts from "Social media's impact on our mental health and tips to use it safely - UC Davis Health" (UC Davis) Excerpts from "Soft Girl Era - Meaning, Origin & Usage - History of English" (HoE) Excerpts from "The Problem with 'Soft Life' in 2025" (Problem) Excerpts from "The Soft Life vs. The Hustle Culture - School of Self-Image" (Soft vs. Hustle) Excerpts from "The soft girl, hard girl debate - Trinidad and Tobago Newsday" (Debate) Excerpts from "The soft life: why millennials are quitting the rat race - Reddit" (Rat Race) Excerpts from "Why TikTok's Soft Life Is An Act of BIPOC Rebellion - Zee Feed" (Rebellion)
Welcome to unfiltered, where we unpack the real, the raw and keep it 100. I'm your host, Trina. And today's we're diving deep into something that's been buzzing heavy on our timelines. The soft life era. Is it still, given what it was meant to give? Or has it been watered down, repackaged and gentrified? Like so many other things we create unfiltered, unapologetic, and undeniably her. Let's get into it. Hey, sis. Welcome to unfiltered, the podcast where we hold space for the real, the raw and the necessary. This ain't just girl talk. This is legacy talk. This is healing talk. This is the kind of conversation we were never really invited into until now. So let's talk about something we've been seeing everywhere, from our feeds to our group chats. The soft laugh. You've probably heard the term. You've maybe said it yourself. You might even have it pinned in your bio. But here's the thing. What is the soft laugh? Really? Let's start there. The soft laugh is a cultural shift. It's a conscious rejection of struggle, burnout, and the unspoken rule that says we as black women must earn our rest. It's about choosing ease over exhaustion, joy over justification, flow over force. It's not about laziness. It's not about checking out of life. It's about choosing a life that doesn't chew you up and spit you out just for the sake of survival. In its purest form, the soft laugh is about healing from the generations of wear and tear that have been passed down to us like heirlooms. We've inherited the hustle, the grind, the strength. But we didn't always get handed. The softness, the care, the grace. Let's go back for a moment. The strong black woman trope didn't emerge in a vacuum. It was created piece by piece in response to a society that refused to see our humanity. Back in the late 19th century. During the racial uplift movement. Black women were constantly fighting back against degrading stereotypes the hypersexual Jezebel, the asexual mammy, the angry sapphire. So we built a new image. Strong. Resilient, capable. We wore it like armor because we had to. But somewhere along the way, that armor got heavy. We weren't just praised for our strength, we were expected to carry it all to keep going no matter what. To be unbreakable. Unshaken. Unwavering. Even when we were screaming inside. Think about how many times you've said I'm good when you weren't. How many times you've smiled through the stress. How often you've been told you're so strong. As if that's supposed to be comforting. Let me ask you this. Who told us that strength meant silence? That softness was weakness. That rest was something we had to earn. We didn't come into this world with that belief. It was conditioned into us, passed down and praised until we didn't even question it. But now we're starting to. And that's where the soft laugh comes in. Let's be real. When black women started saying no more to hustle culture, it wasn't about luxury handbags or aesthetic mornings, it was about survival. It was about saying, I refuse to die from doing too much for people who give me too little. But as the soft laugh grew in popularity, something shifted. The message began to get a little blurry. Now we see influencers sipping rosé on rooftop patios, captions dripping with soft laugh vibes. But is that really what it's about? Or is it another thing that we created just for it to be co-opted and sold back to us, wrapped in unattainable luxury? Because here's the truth. Soft laugh isn't soft if it's only for the privileged. It's not rest if you can only afford it after your third burnout. And it's not healing. If we're still performing for legs and follows. So let's reclaim the meaning. Let's bring it back to us. To do that, we have to unlearn some things. We have to let go of that guilt we carry when we rest. We have to stop confusing overworking with worthiness. We have to reimagine what power looks like when it includes vulnerability. So how do we do that? How do we create real balance between our ambition and our need for peace? That's where the breathe framework comes in. This isn't just theory. It's a real, actionable guide for how black women can prioritize mental wellness and still show up for ourselves and our communities. Let's break it down. B is for balance. It means learning how to say no without apology. It's understanding that wearing every hat doesn't mean wearing yourself out. Balance doesn't mean doing it all. It means doing what matters without losing yourself. R is for reflection. When's the last time you checked in with yourself? Not just physically, but emotionally. Reflection could be journaling, meditation, solo travel, even a quiet bath. You don't need a retreat in Bali to reconnect. Sometimes you just need silence and tension and a few deep breaths. E is for energy and not the hustle harder kind. This is about aligning your energy with your purpose, protecting your vibe, knowing who and what drains you, and choosing daily to preserve your peace. A is for association. Who are your people? Who pours into you like you pour into them? Your circle should nourish you, not deplete you. And let's not forget, social media can be a tool. There are entire online communities, especially for black women, that exist solely to uplift, educate and encourage. T is for transparency. That means speaking up, saying I'm not okay without shame. Letting go of the mask. Being real with yourself and with others about your journey. Transparency doesn't make you weak. It makes you whole. H is for healing. This isn't just about therapy, though. That's important. It's about ancestral healing and spiritual restoration and emotional reset. Healing looks like forgiveness. Like crying. Like dance. Like boundaries. Like joy. E is for empowerment. Soft laugh doesn't mean small laugh. You can be soft and still take up space. You can rest and rise. Empowerment is owning your story, defining your worth and making peace your standard, not your reward. So sis, let me ask you, what does soft life look like for you? Not the filtered influencer version, not the one sold in highlight reels. I mean the version where your joy isn't contingent on a vacation, a paycheck, or external validation. The version where your piece is protected like your edges. The version where you don't have to apologize for saying I need a break because the soft life isn't a performance, it's a practice. And as black women, it's also a protest. So before we go, I want you to take a deep breath with me. Inhale. Peace. Exhale pressure. Inhale possibility. Exhale perfection. You don't owe the world your exhaustion. You don't need to earn your ease. You're already enough. You're already worthy. Softness is your birthright. And this. This right here is your space to reclaim it. Until next time, keep living. Unfiltered, unapologetic, and undeniably her. We're just getting started.