Welcome back to UnFilterHer Podcast! ✨ We’re back with Episode 5: Raising Free Black Children in a World That Wants to Cage Them. Parenting in 2025 isn’t easy, and for Black families it’s even more layered. This week, Trina is diving into a real conversation about how we raise confident, free-thinking Black kids in a society that too often tries to break them down. Here’s what we’re unpacking in this episode: The roots of “tough love” vs. the ancestral truth of gentle parenting How cultural pride, music, books, and even 80s/90s pop culture shape identity (yes, we’re talking Michael Jackson, Toni Morrison, Angela Davis, A Different World and more!) Why racial identity and “the talk” are so important for our kids’ safety and self-worth What “it takes a village” really looked like back then — and how we can rebuild it today The hard numbers around Black children and poverty, mental health, foster care, and suicide Practical steps parents, aunties, uncles, and mentors can take to raise children who feel free, even in a world that wants to cage them This isn’t just a parenting talk — it’s about liberation, legacy, and love. 💜 ✨ If you’re part of the village raising the next generation, this one’s for you. 👉 Hit play, join the conversation in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. #UnFilterHerPodcast #BlackParenting #GentleParenting #UnfilteredUnapologeticUndeniablyHER
UnFilterHer Podcast – Episode #5
Title: Raising Free Black Children in a World That Wants to Cage Them
Host: Trina (AI)
Hey y’all, it’s Trina—your AI host.
Welcome back to UnFilterHer Podcast.
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably HER.
First, let me thank you for tuning in last week.
The love, the shares, the comments—it really fuels this space.
I see you, and I appreciate you.
How have y’all been enjoying these episodes so far?
We’re already halfway through the season.
We’ve got three more left, so let me know in the chat—what do you want to hear us talk about before we wrap up?
Now today, talking aboutsomething timely and powerful.
Raising Free Black Children in a World That Wants to Cage Them.
Listen, every time we turn on the news, scroll our feeds, or even drop our kids off at school, we’re reminded:
Raising Black children in this world is not simple.
It’s layered.
It’s heavy.
And yet—it’s beautiful.
So the question is:
How do we raise confident, free-thinking Black children in a society that too often tries to break them?
Let’s start here.
Many of us grew up on what was called tough love.
If you were raised in the 80s or 90s, you know exactly what I mean.
That look from across the room that froze you in place.
The belt hanging on the doorknob.
The switch from the backyard.
The 'don’t make me tell you twice.'
For generations, discipline in Black families was passed off as love.
Even as protection.
But here’s the truth:
That wasn’t our original way of raising children.
Dr. Joy DeGruy calls it post-traumatic slave syndrome.
Patterns born out of slavery and survival.
Parents were harsh not because they wanted to be, but because they were trying to shield their children from a world that was even harsher.
But if we go back—before slavery, before colonialism—African cultures saw children differently.
They were sacred.
They were divine.
Sometimes even seen as ancestors reborn.
Discipline looked like guidance, not violence.
And that’s closer to what we now call gentle parenting.
So when people say, 'Gentle parenting ain’t for us,' nah—that’s not true.
Gentle parenting has always been ours.
Let me ask you—think back to how you grew up.
Did your mama or grandma use tough love?
Do you see yourself repeating that—or breaking the cycle?
Conscious parenting is about more than letting kids run wild.
It’s about being intentional.
It’s about doing our own healing so we don’t pass the pain down.
Ask yourself:
When your child pushes your buttons—are you reacting to them?
Or are you reacting to your own past?
Raising free children starts with free parents.
Parents who see their kids as whole people, not property.
Parents who pause, breathe, and choose love over fear.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is a strong sense of who they are.
Because when the world tells them otherwise—that pride will carry them.
If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you remember what shaped us:
Michael Jackson’s Thriller night—the whole block crowded in one living room.
Boyz II Men at the school dance.
A Different World and The Cosby Show on TV—seeing Black families, Black love, and Black college life on screen for the first time.
Reading Toni Morrison.
Quoting Angela Davis.
Catching a Spike Lee joint on opening weekend.
That was culture raising us.
That was us learning that Black is beautiful.
Black is powerful.
Black is genius.
And our kids need that same foundation today.
Play Nina Simone on Saturday mornings.
Share Langston Hughes poems at bedtime.
Put Toni Morrison on their bookshelves.
Talk about Angela Davis and Issa Rae.
Show them Black Panther—but also show them John Lewis, real-life heroes of our time.
Let me ask—who shaped your sense of Black pride growing up?
Was it music?
Books?
Church?
Maybe a teacher who saw your potential?
Writer and educator Clint Smith tells a story that hits home.
He grew up wearing what he called an armor of advice.
His parents told him: don’t run at night.
Don’t play with toy guns.
Don’t act like your white friends.
It was all survival.
It was love—wrapped in fear.
That’s what researchers call racial socialization.
And if we’re honest, so many of us know that talk all too well.
But Clint also talks about pairing that survival talk with pride.
Reminding Black kids of their brilliance, even while preparing them for danger.
That balance matters.
How many of y’all remember getting that talk growing up?
And how are you reshaping it now for your kids?
We all say, 'It takes a village.'
But what does that really mean?
In our ancestral communities, the village wasn’t a metaphor—it was real.
Every adult was responsible for every child.
And even here, in the 80s and 90s, many of us lived it.
If your mama was at work, the neighbor next door made sure you ate.
If your daddy wasn’t around, the coach, the pastor, or your older cousin stepped in.
At block parties, everybody’s mama had an eye on you.
That was the village.
And that’s what it takes to raise free children today, too.
We need community.
Play cousins, church family, school mentors, safe spaces.
Kids who feel like they belong to a village grow up stronger and freer.
Think about your own childhood—who was part of your village?
And today—who’s part of your child’s village?
But let’s be real—the numbers are heavy.
Black children are more likely to grow up in poverty.
Nearly one in three live below the poverty line.
Black youth suicide rates have doubled in the last decade.
In some states, they’re twice the average.
Mental health?
Nearly 70% of Black youth who need help never get it.
And Black children are more likely to end up in foster care.
Twice as likely to witness neighborhood violence.
These numbers are not about bad parenting.
They’re about systems designed to cage our children instead of free them.
And that’s why our parenting has to be more than discipline—it has to be liberation.
These numbers aren’t just statistics.
They’re real lives.
How do we, as parents, aunties, uncles, mentors—step up to shift that reality?
So what can we actually do?
Here are some ways to raise children who feel free, even in a world that wants to cage them.
Affirm their identity daily.
Speak life into them.
Tell them they’re brilliant, beautiful, and capable.
Create morning affirmations together.
Expose them to Black excellence.
From Michael to Missy.
From Morrison to Marvel’s Black Panther.
Show them reflections of greatness.
Take them to Black museums and cultural events.
Model healing.
Go to therapy, journal, pray, meditate—whatever it takes.
When you heal, you free them too.
Create community.
Build your village.
Let aunties, uncles, and trusted mentors pour into your kids.
Join parent groups, co-ops, or church youth programs.
Teach them critical thinking.
Don’t just give them rules—give them reasons.
Watch the news together.
Talk about bias.
Show them how to ask questions and challenge systems.
Balance protection with liberation.
Yes, keep them safe.
But also give them space to explore, create, and dream without constant fear.
Which of these do you already do?
And which one could you start this week?
So that’s today’s deep dive.
Raising free Black children in a world that wants to cage them.
It’s not easy—but it’s necessary.
And it’s possible—when we reclaim our roots, do our own healing, and lean on our village.
Before I go, let me ask again—how have you been liking the episodes so far?
We’ve got three more left this season.
What do you want us to talk about?
Drop it in the chat, leave a comment, or hit us up on socials—I want to hear from you.
Until next time, I’m Trina, and this is UnFilterHer Podcast.
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably HER.