Sis, let’s talk about it. Black women are exhausted—and not just “I need a nap” tired. We’re talking about burnout, rage fatigue, and the invisible weight of always being the strong one for everyone else. In this episode, Trina—your AI host of UnFilterHer—dives into: 💭 The hidden costs of the Strong Black Woman archetype 💭 The emotional labor and “unpaid invisible work” we carry 💭 How this pressure shows up in our bodies, minds, and spirits 💭 And the revolutionary act of reclaiming rest, setting boundaries, and choosing joy without guilt Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can say is: “Get somebody else to do it.” ✨ Watch now and join the conversation. ✨ 🎧 Listen on podcast platforms everywhere. 📺 Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel for new episodes every week. 💬 Drop a comment: What’s one thing you’re putting down this week to protect your peace? Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably HER.
UnFilterHer Podcast – Episode #4
Title: Black Women Are Tired—Get Someone Else to Do It
Host: Trina (AI)
Hey y’all, it’s Trina— I'm your AI host. Welcome back to UnFilterHer podcast.
Today in Episode number 4 we are diving into something that’s been sitting heavy on a lot of our hearts, our bodies, and our spirits. So, I'm going to tell ya'll this one last time.
Black Women Are Tired—Get Someone Else to Do It. I'm not talking “I need a nap” tired. I’m talking burnt out, stretched thin, carrying-everybody’s-stuff-on-my-back tired.
And I want to sit in that truth with you today. We’re gonna break it down—why so many of us feel this way, what’s behind it, and most importantly, how we can start putting some of this weight down and reclaiming our peace without guilt.
Let’s start with the obvious: Black women have been conditioned, generation after generation, to believe we gotta be strong. To hold it all together. To fix it. To show up for everybody—our families, our jobs, our communities—and do it all without complaint. That’s what folks call the Strong Black Woman archetype.
On the surface, it sounds empowering, right? Strength. Resilience. Being the one people can depend on. And in a way, it is. It’s gotten us through centuries of struggle. It’s what made our mothers and grandmothers role models of survival and excellence.
But here’s the flip side: carrying that label also comes with an invisible price tag. Because when you’re always the “strong one,” you don’t get permission to rest. You don’t get permission to break. You don’t get permission to just be.
That’s what the research calls self-silencing—holding back your real feelings, swallowing your anger, putting your needs dead last—because you’re afraid of being judged, labeled, or dismissed. It’s like wearing armor every day, even when your body is begging you to take it off.
And let’s talk about the emotional labor behind all this. You know it well: being the friend who always listens, the daughter who always fixes, the coworker who carries the team but gets half the recognition.
One article called it “unpaid invisible labor.” That hit me. Because that’s exactly what it is. Folks lean on us without even asking if we’re okay. They assume we’ll handle it. But sis, that constant giving without being replenished—it drains you. It’s why so many of us end up resentful, anxious, or just plain numb.
Now let’s add in the workplace. Whew. Being the only Black woman in the room, expected to represent the entire culture. Code-switching to make folks comfortable. Being praised one moment, then labeled “too aggressive” the second you speak your truth. They even have a name for it—the pet-to-threat stereotype. At first, you’re the promising star, the “diverse hire.” But the moment you show real power, you’re suddenly “intimidating.”
That constant tightrope walk? It’s exhausting. And the pressure to be flawless—to work twice as hard just to get half as much—that’s not just unfair, it’s unhealthy.
And here’s where it gets scary. Carrying these burdens doesn’t just weigh on your spirit—it shows up in your body. Studies have linked this kind of chronic stress to high blood pressure, heart disease, autoimmune disorders like lupus, even strokes.
One Stanford study showed that suppressing anger—something so many of us have been forced to do—actually increases risk for serious health problems. The body really does keep the score. And sis, it’s costing us.
On the mental health side, the toll is just as real. Anxiety. Depression. PTSD. And yet—many of us don’t seek help. Not because we don’t need it, but because stigma is still so heavy in our community. And honestly? Because we don’t always trust the system to treat us fairly. History has taught us to be cautious, and that mistrust is valid.
But here’s the good news: we are not powerless. Black women everywhere are rewriting this story. The sources I’ve seen talk about radical acts of self-preservation—setting boundaries, redefining self-care, reclaiming joy.
Boundaries sound simple, but they’re revolutionary. Saying “no” when you mean no. Refusing to always be the fixer. Choosing rest over running yourself ragged. Boundaries are not walls—they’re doors. They let in what nourishes you, and they block out what drains you.
And let’s rethink self-care. Not the Instagram version with bubble baths and face masks—though, yes, those are cute too—but the deeper version. Self-care as a form of resistance. Choosing joy, choosing softness, choosing stillness in a world that constantly tells Black women to grind. That is power.
Some sisters are finding that through nature—walking outdoors, kayaking, hiking, even just breathing fresh air without guilt. Essence did a whole piece on Black women reconnecting with nature as a form of healing. And when you think about it, that makes sense. Our ancestors lived in rhythm with the earth. Reclaiming that space is radical, especially when history tried to keep us out of it.
Others are reclaiming healing through sisterhood—safe spaces where we can laugh, cry, share, and be seen without judgment. Or through literature—books like Kenya Hunt’s Girl: Essays on Black Womanhood, or Nedra Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace. These aren’t just reads; they’re tools for survival.
So what does all this mean for us right now, today? It means we don’t have to carry it all. We don’t have to perform strength 24/7. We don’t owe anybody our exhaustion.
Sis, you are allowed to rest. You are allowed to be soft. You are allowed to be vulnerable. You are allowed to say, “Not today. Get somebody else to do it.” And not feel guilty about it.
That’s not weakness—that’s wisdom. That’s survival. That’s love—for yourself and for the generations coming after you.
So as we close today’s conversation, I want you to take a deep breath. Release some of that weight you’ve been carrying. Ask yourself: what’s one thing I can put down this week? What’s one boundary I can honor? What’s one joy I can choose on purpose?
And if nobody has told you lately—hear it from me: You are enough, exactly as you are, even when you rest.
Thank y’all for rocking with me on this episode of UnFilterHer. I’m your host, Trina, keeping it unfiltered, unapologetic, and undeniably HER.
If today’s episode spoke to you, share it with your girls. Subscribe to the podcast, drop a comment, let us know how you’re reclaiming your energy.
And hey—it’s Labor Day weekend. So I want you to do one thing for yourself: put your feet up, eat good, laugh loud, and let somebody else handle it for once. You deserve that.
I’ll see you next week for Episode #5, where we’ll unpack another real, raw conversation built just for us.
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably HER.
Sources:
Certainly, here are the sources provided:
• Excerpts from "5 Strategies to Support Black Women's Wellness at Work - Catalyst"
• Excerpts from "7 Crucial Boundaries Black Women Don't Owe Anyone - Lemon8 App"
• Excerpts from "Black Women Are Finding Peace—And Healing—Through Nature | Essence"
• Excerpts from "Black Women and Burnout: Stress is what is carried; burnout is what is felt"
• Excerpts from "Black Women are Burned Out from Fixing Our Burnout. 4 Ways to Finally Cope - GROWN"
• Excerpts from "Emotional Labor: The Burden That Black Women Carry to Survive"
• Excerpts from "Let's address the unpaid invisible labor of Black women - The Bay State Banner"
• Excerpts from "Mental Health Disparities Among Women of Color – Metriarch®"
• Excerpts from "Racial and ethnic disparities in women's mental health: a narrative synthesis of systematic reviews and meta-analyses of the US-based samples - PMC"
• Excerpts from "Reclaiming Self-care: Self-care as a Social Justice Tool for Black Wellness - PMC"
• Excerpts from "Reflecting on Exhaustion and the Power of Curiosity and Community"
• Excerpts from "Silent Rage Is A Hidden Health Crisis Among Women Of Color, Fueling Autoimmune Disorders - Atlanta Tribune"
• Excerpts from "Soul-Care: Why 'Burnout' Is Not An Individual Failing And How To Protect Yourself From It"
• Excerpts from "Strong Black Woman Schema and its Impact Among Black Women - ScholarWorks | Walden University Research"
• Excerpts from "Supporting Black Women Who Experience Chronic Stress - ABPP"
• Excerpts from "The Strong Black Woman Schema: Impact and Healing" (appears twice with similar titles, but distinct content ranges)
• Excerpts from "Therapy for Black Girls"
• Excerpts from "Unpacking Sacred Safe Spaces For Black Women - Her Agenda"
• Excerpts from "Why the "Strong Black Woman" Stereotype Is Bad for Black Mental Health"
• Excerpts from "Your Comfort Is Killing Me: The Toll of Unseen—and Unpaid—Emotional Labor"